Incorporating the Self Compass diagram in a session is
simple.
The therapist can show a graphic
of the Self Compass and say something like, “One of the building blocks of your
therapy is this compass diagram. Notice that it’s divided into four compass
points that are essential to every person. The Love compass point stands for
all the love and caring you’ve ever received or given, but its opposite, the Assertion
compass point, is just as important. Loving helps you care for others; Assertion
lets you express yourself and stand up for your feelings and values. Now I
wonder if you might explore how the Love/Assertion polarity relates to you.”
By asking counselees to locate and elaborate on their own
experiences within the Self Compass, you involve them in assessing and
describing their own behavior. Two things happen. First, they begin to develop
an observing self that will help them
reflect on their behavior throughout the therapy. Second, they enjoy talking
about themselves in compass terms by sharing significant life experiences that
relate to a given compass point. This prepares for continued exploration of the
relationship between their current functioning and their actualizing growth
toward holistic health.
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Once you have explored the terrain of a counselee’s reflections
on love and assertion, you launch the next expedition. You might say, “This
second polarity represents times in life when you’ve felt especially weak or
particularly strong. Weakness equals anxiety, vulnerability, and uncertainty.
Strength describes your experiences of confidence and adequacy. How would you
say these two compass points relate to you?”
As vital information from your counselee’s life history
comes forth, you discern how he or she has typically handled the
Weakness/Strength polarity. Is he stuck overly exaggerating weakness at the
expense of strength? Has she developed a superior attitude to compensate for
her fear of showing weakness?
The rapport you build
and the insights you gain help form a diagnostic impression of the counselee’s
personality configuration. You may find out that the man who is a confident
physics professor at work is a dependent depressive at home. Or the woman who
has mastered yoga for relaxation goes to pieces when stressed by her
hyperactive three-year-old son.
You and the counselee are working together like Sherlock
Holmes and Watson, searching for relevant clues and deducing growth goals that
will help to solve the mystery of self-growth that has eluded the counselee.
The spirit of mutual curiosity and discovery generated by exploring the Self
Compass adds momentum to motivation, self-reflection, and personality integration—key
ingredients for awakening counselees to full engagement in their own change
process.
Here’s a glimpse of how such dialogue can work. Let’s say
you’ve just heard Nancy’s disclosure about how she sees herself and her
significant relationships in terms of the Self Compass. You begin to formulate
a treatment strategy with her.
Therapist: “So
Nancy, it sounds like you could benefit from more assertion in order to hold
your own with your husband. Is that right?”
Nancy: “Yes, he
just makes so many choices about furniture, vacations, and where we eat out
without getting my input. I don’t think he’s trying to be bossy. But I do need
to let him know what I’d like more often.”
Therapist: “One
of our goals can be strengthening your use of the Assertion compass point.
Working on how to diplomatically express yourself instead of not saying
anything. Now what about strength and weakness?”
Nancy: “Well, in
my nursing work I feel very confident. Everyone treats me with respect. So
that’s okay. But where I get shaky inside is with my teenage daughter. She
wants so many things! I give in too easily. I think I feel intimidated by her.”
Therapist: “It’s
like you feel strong at work but weak in the presence of your daughter,
especially when she puts pressure on you to buy her something.”
Nancy: “Exactly.
I’ve tried to set boundaries but she just keeps on until I give in.”
Therapist: “Well,
we can build your staying power through some role-playing and help you develop
more self-confidence in her presence.”
Nancy: “That
would be great.”
The Self Compass is a user-friendly tool that helps a therapist:
- develop a diagnosis-to-treatment strategy.
- form an estimate of how many sessions may be needed.
- generate action techniques for intervention and growth-enhancement.
- monitor a counselee’s progress.
- determine when therapy is ready for termination.
Sharing the Self Compass demystifies therapy and engages
counselees as dialogue partners in the therapeutic enterprise. Counselees get
excited when they know they can directly influence their own functioning.
