Most people would not consider being overly
withdrawn, detached, or hermit-like as sinful, but Jesus sees it differently.
In the parable of the three servants given funds to invest by their master, the
first two take appropriate risks that bring a return on the investment. The
third hides the money away and later says to the master, “I was afraid I might
lose some so I didn’t invest any.” The master takes what has been entrusted to
this servant and gives it to the other two, ordering punishment for the servant’s
play-it-safe attitude (Mt 25:14-30).
One of the major ways people can sin against God and
sabotage the purpose for which they are created is to withhold themselves from
others. Of course there are many rationalizations for doing so: “I had a bad childhood,”
“I was humiliated in school and never got over it,” or “My best friend stabbed
me in the back so I decided never to trust anyone.” This same type of rationale
occurs between the person and God. “I prayed for something really important and
it never happened, so I quit praying.” “God has more important things to do
than care about me.”
The pattern of withholding one’s self as a strategy through life forestalls self-development, triggering a premature abdication of identity. Within a Christian perspective, the pattern intercepts one’s identity and calling in Christ.
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| Jesus and The Avoidant Worrier |
Jesus says to the Avoidant Worrier, “Can all your worries add
a single moment to your life? And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like
that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?” (Lk 12:25-26). To
stimulate the Worrier’s active trust in him, Christ says, “Do not be afraid,
little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom” (Lk
12:32). What is this kingdom that the Father gives to the Worrier? It is the:
- richness of companionate relationships
- fullness of an active mind and expressive heart
- excitement of developing talents and hobbies
- joy of communion with the Trinity
- pleasure of having one’s name spoken by friends and acquaintances
- interest of days filled with growth and adventure
- serenity that replaces fear and worry with gratitude for being alive
No doubt some friends and family members have tried
to awaken the Worrier to the pleasures of life and relationships, their words
falling on deaf ears, the seeds of their encouragement lying on fallow ground.
But when Worriers finally hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit who passionately
and gently witnesses to Christ’s presence in the soul, then Christianity
delivers its message to Worriers, who begin to exchange the burden of worry for
active steps that lead to a larger life.
How does the Bible approach the Schizoid Loner? Paul counsels, “And let us consider one another in
order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves
together, as is the manner of some” (Heb 10:24-25). Obviously Paul knew some
Christians who had succumbed to the Loner pattern by isolating from fellowship
with others. Because Christ knows the damaging effects of the Loner pattern, he
pursues Loners to bring them home to the friendship of Trinity love.
Jesus says:
Jesus says:
“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep’” (Lk 15:3-6).
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| Jesus and the Schizoid Loner |
How can the Loner overcome years of self-absorbed
solitude? The answer is, “Put on the Lord Jesus Christ” (Ro 13:14); that is to
say, until Loners develop a modicum of social skill for communicating with
others, it works to simply model Christ.
For more, read:
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| Christian Personality Theory |
