Communication
is the heart pulse of therapy. The dialogue that develops between a therapist
and counselee incorporates body language, emotional nuances, cognitive insight,
and spiritual discernment—an interpersonal dynamic that evokes the whole human
nature of each person. This is what makes counseling so different from other
health professions like medicine, dentistry, or optometry.
In counseling and psychotherapy you utilize your own personality and human nature as an interactive force in calling forth your counselee’s human potential.
In counseling and psychotherapy you utilize your own personality and human nature as an interactive force in calling forth your counselee’s human potential.
While some therapies set down rules of engagement that keep the therapeutic communication at a strictly clinical level, Compass Therapy suggests that it is wise to build a rhythm between clinical professionalism and personal naturalness that helps a counselee feel at home. Sullivan called this interpersonal posture that of a “participant observer.”
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| Participant Observer |
If
the counselee grew up in the town where you spent your last vacation, it’s a
natural point of discussion to spend a couple of minutes talking over your
mutual impressions of the place. This builds rapport, develops a fellow
feeling, and prepares for the next round of therapeutic exploration.
BUILDING EMOTIONAL RAPPORT
Emotional
rapport takes top priority throughout therapy. In fact, there is no effective
therapy without emotional rapport; there is only talking or questioning or
preaching.
Rapport involves curiosity, humor, listening, asking interested questions, exchanging ideas, and speaking in short enough sound bites that counselees can maintain their attention while feeling that you understand them. Whenever this rapport is broken for any reason, you can interrupt what you’re doing and immediately begin reflecting what the counselee is feeling. Before long, trust is restored and the conversation can resume.
Carl Rogers’ original research revealed the considerable role that building and maintaining rapport plays in promoting behavioral change. Rogers especially highlighted the therapist qualities of warmth, genuineness, and empathy that invite a reciprocal authenticity from the counselee. Today these qualities serve just as effectively for deepening the therapeutic conversation and alliance.
In fact, a review of forty years of research shows that a therapist’s main contribution in helping counselees achieve a favorable outcome is through empathetic, affirmative, collaborative, and genuine engagement.
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| Building Rapport |
So rather
than exuding an artificially aloof bearing meant to convey clinical
objectivity, Compass Therapy suggests that you go ahead and be human,
professional role and all. It’s good clinical practice to know how deeply
people need attention, support, and caring, and to provide these qualities in
no uncertain terms.
When you can say it authentically, you might try something like:
- “That is a powerful insight.”
- “I am amazed by the courage you are showing.”
- “That is the funniest story I’ve heard in a long time.”
- “You have a fascinating life narrative.”
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