Jesus encourages love as a primary intention for
doing God’s will in the world: supporting the needy, loving the loveless,
carrying one another’s burdens, and reaching out to others in a spirit of
altruistic concern.
But Christ knows that for
individuals to love others appropriately, they must learn to love themselves
enough to draw firm boundaries with other people, neither pandering to others'
needs nor overly soliciting their attention. For those who live with their
center of gravity in others “have no root; they last only a short time. When
trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away” (Mk
4:17).
To the Pleaser and Storyteller, Paul asks this question:
“Am I now trying to win human approval, or God’s approval? Or am I trying to
please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a
servant of Christ” (Gal 1:10).
How can Christians hear the voice of the Lord’s
guidance in their personal life if they are preoccupied with currying
everyone’s favor?
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| Becoming a Servant of Jesus |
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but
be transformed by the renewing of your mind" Paul says. "Then you will be able to test and
approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Rom 12:2).
The developmental step
Christ invites Pleasers and Storytellers to take involves:
- squarely facing their separation anxiety
- walking through the valley of aloneness
- with the Holy Spirit’s help, finding the path to a serene self-presence
Once the Pleaser has
outgrown the subjective need for constant reassurance, and the Storyteller has
given up the need to remain the emotional center of attention, then the
Christian life of living by steadfast faith in God’s objective will can begin
in earnest.
With this new center of
gravity comes the ability to:
- differentiate one’s identity even while integrating the interpersonal self with the human family
- holding steady in the face of criticism or disapproval
- confronting unfairness or injustice when necessary
- listening to others and expressing one’s point of view
- drawing upon the inner peace of Christ as the cornerstone of actualizing growth
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:7).
For more, read:
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| Christian Personality Theory |
